Stop

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What can I do tomorrow
That I can’t get done today
I have no food to swallow
And the bills are still not paid

Yesterday was better
I thought I knew it all
Remind me to erase
The writing on the wall

Guess what I have a new job
What happened to the last
I found out I was happy
And I knew it way too fast

Eventually
I’ll just keep one right
Isn’t that the plan
For most people yes
For you its holding sand

Why don’t I just go gamble
There are millions in that place
Maybe this last c-note
Will help me win my case

This time it feels way different
And less under control
My sickness is much deeper
My breath I’ll have to hold

It all can just be better
Can’t you do what you are told
I’ve tried that once before
My cards I had to fold

Better safe than sorry
Isn’t that the truth
I thought so too
Yet I don’t have much to lose

Try your best don’t give up
I always hear me say
Should I say it louder
It doesn’t seem to stay

Okay
No more of this complaining
Let it come to rest
You know you are the shit
You know you are the best

I learned it way too early
On this road I have to take
That cracks will always be there
And I’ll just have to brake

Take some time to ponder
Some time to just reflect
Life’s too short to not be grateful
This mantra don’t forget

Take two steps forward
And one back just in case
I have to do this dance again
And failure I must face

Hold on to that dollar
Having something’s nice
The odds are just against you
When you roll that dice

1 thought on “Stop

  1. I think this poem is dealing with gambling addiction am I right? I can feel the compulsion running through the poem. Do you know doctors are now prescribing naltraxone which is used for drug addicts and alcoholics to treat chronic gamblers? I’ve never been addicted to gambling although I have taken major financial risks and my mortgage advisor said my attitude to risk was “positively buccaneering.” I have been addicted to cocaine, alcohol, shopping, bulimia OCD and self-harm. I think the high of shopping, especially on ebay auctions is similar to gambling. I almost lost everything due to my shopping addiction as I spent the mortgage money on a Dior bikini and 3 pairs of matching sunglasses and my house was almost repossessed. Luckily all my addictions and mental health problems are in recovery now and I am happier than I have ever been!

    Liked by 1 person

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