I’ll be okay

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I'll be okay I always say
Those 3 words I say again and again
It's been 39 years in this life of mine
And it feels like I do this all of the time

I've felt love and bliss
and that feeling from a kiss
I've seen beauty, hope, and people cope
With life and loss and the meaning of a cross
I've had fun in the sun and laughter in the rain
A marriage, a job, some success came my way

Yet through it all
It never ever ever ever failed to find me
I've felt pain in ways that'll last for days
But always seems to go away

I've felt lost, ashamed, embarrassed, and blamed
But I've always lived to see those brighter days
I've been manic, confused, and unsure what to do
But I never gave up when I thought I should lose

I have strength that would blow your mind
I have strength that some have never seen before
A strength you won't see in my arms and chest
A strength you won't see in my legs and neck
But unbelievable strength to endure stress
Unbelievable strength to overcome my sadness
Unbelievable strength to help me breath

When a person's depressed and feeling defeated
All they can think about
Is ending the pain

Trying to breath is their biggest challenge
I use my strength and my strongest power

I love myself
Because I'm all that matters

A Silhouette Of Her

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Dressed to the nines
In the corner of the room
Stood a silhouette of her
That flickered from the moon

She gazed at him adoringly
Unveiling her disguise
Arousing him unknowingly
With conversating eyes

His mind's imagination
Just slipped into a trance
As the sinner from within him
Waited for a chance

To twist her up just like a knot
So she could hardly spin
And set ablaze the fire
Of a passion deep within

If left to chance
This sultry dance
Likely would've followed
Until the voices in his head
Now prompted him
To swallow

She smiled with reservation
At the cross around his neck
And asked if his imagination
Were something he'd regret

He paused with hesitation
As the blood coursed through his veins
Collecting his composure
As she called him by his name

Every voice inside his head
Was pleading him to stay
Instead he listened to his own
And slowly walked away

Hope

img_0035Dark and broken was the glass
I looked through when I saw my past
Selfish, restless, wanting more
Of what I’d lost each time before

I tried so hard to abstain from
Cravings that I disdained of
Yet, subtle with it’s ugly grip
Addiction knows when I will slip

Exploiting my own poker face
By wielding lies I can’t erase
Hidden was the road I took
Outside this window that I looked

For I had come to realize
That my own self was now disguised
By lines and creases on my face
Of memories I can’t replace

Reflections of my past are gloom
But hope and faith filled up this room
Bounded by the same desire
To quench a thirst and rest a fire

Rendering my soul to find
Regrets are best if left behind
So I can see a future’s past

That’s filled with hope
And meant to last

Sunshine

Sunshine

Her strength is like the tales once told
When story books were edged in gold

Resilience, passion, love, and faith
Have kept her clean and made her brave

Unlike stars that fall from space
Sunshine's smile lights up her face

As deserts dream of rain at night
Not even floods can stop her might

Rivers merge from miles apart
To feel the love inside her heart

Much is reached by those she knows
Like knowledge, strength, and ways to grow

A mother, artist, and a friend
Who's lived a life without pretend

How proud and happy she should feel
For what's achieved the past ten years

Her perseverance and good deeds
Defines herself and those she needs

Sunshine simply represents
The good that comes from happiness

Glowing bright from outer space
A star is here to take its place

Thankful is the word I find
That Sunshine is a friend of mine

Wave of Disbelief


When I was very young
I would stare into the sun
While the waves upon the ocean
Would merge into just one

You would hold onto my hand
As we made circles in the sand

And teach me how to breathe
When a wave of disbelief
Passed beneath our feet

When I had grown much older
I would rest upon your shoulder
To help me get right over
The years that made me colder

You would help me understand
Exactly where to stand

And remind me how to breathe
When a wave of disbelief
Brought me to my knees

Now that I am here
And fate is much more clear
Your words I still hold dear
As your heart is oh so near

God will have a plan
As he reaches for my hand

That will enable me to breathe
As a wave of disbelief
Slowly washes over me

Stop

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What can I do tomorrow
That I can't get done today
I have no food to swallow
And the bills are still not paid

Yesterday was better
I thought I knew it all
Remind me to erase
The writing on the wall

Guess what I have a new job
What happened to the last
I found out I was happy
And I knew it way too fast

Eventually
I'll just keep one right
Isn't that the plan
For most people yes
For you its holding sand

Why don't I just go gamble
There are millions in that place
Maybe this last c-note
Will help me win my case

This time it feels way different
And less under control
My sickness is much deeper
My breath I'll have to hold

It all can just be better
Can't you do what you are told
I've tried that once before
My cards I had to fold

Better safe than sorry
Isn't that the truth
I thought so too
Yet I don't have much to lose

Try your best don't give up
I always hear me say
Should I say it louder
It doesn't seem to stay

Okay
No more of this complaining
Let it come to rest
You know you are the shit
You know you are the best

I learned it way too early
On this road I have to take
That cracks will always be there
And I'll just have to brake

Take some time to ponder
Some time to just reflect
Life's too short to not be grateful
This mantra don't forget

Take two steps forward
And one back just in case
I have to do this dance again
And failure I must face

Hold on to that dollar
Having something's nice
The odds are just against you
When you roll that dice

Breakup

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Today you will smile
No longer you’ll lie
The pain comes and goes
In this kind of life

The candle burns brightly
All through the night
Sending a message
Of love and delight

Tomorrow’s a new day
The mind will shift gears
The lessons you learned
Will now bring you tears

They married each other
In front of their friends
Their family was there
To watch it begin

Like stars in the rain
They danced into space
Not knowing the pain
Of falling from grace

Now they must struggle
Their love disappeared
The hearts they gave up
Are now filled with fear

The heat from the fire
Was worse than the touch
You’re now just a liar
You loved her so much

An end to the seethe
Allows you to breathe
You’ve packed up your things
So now you can leave

Time teaches lessons
To those who accept
That faith can heal wounds
That are hard to forget

Let us remember
To live without doubt
That true love will exist
That’s what it’s about

Collect Call

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The night was of something
Out of this world
It gave me time to think
Of just this girl

The car was warm
Outside was rainy
I pulled over
Could she save me

I phoned collect
To see if she’d accept
Even though all we’d done
Is briefly met

Her happiness
Took me by surprise
Just as did
Her stunning eyes

We agreed on
The perfect date
A chance to see
Her pretty face

I don’t mind waiting
It’s all I know
I just want love
To see it grow

And like her I hope
I don’t mind trying
It seems like most
Just don’t mind dying

Perhaps this date
Will be a start
For me a chance
To win her heart

Young and Old

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Sometimes life
Can have a grip
On those around us
Young and old

Some will see their path begin
At start of day and winter’s end
Others with a whispered laugh
May choose to follow unknown’s path

Years will make us wonder why
That things we love can sometimes die
From hearts of those who make us empty
In the times we need them plenty

I feel that a child’s content
Is based on some things we control
But often ignored once they’re told
That is why I say to those
Who carry love’s heart in their soul

When time gives way to lesser knowns
And thoughts that follow now are bones
Remember those who have before
Entered light and crossed the door
For no longer are we afraid
To find true love in this new way

Don’t forget a childhood’s dream
Is often happy and not mean
Despite their effort or lack there-of
They start their path with winter’s love

It’s after this of which is told
With lovers’ passion
Young and old
Can many people live to tell
That life is heaven with no hell

On A Night Like This

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Underneath this starry sky
A silver moon
Joins clouds up high
So you and I
Can reminisce
On how we loved
And how we kissed
On a night like this

I hold your hands
So close to me
And whisper softly
In your ear
The kind of words
You’d want
To hear
When you’re
In love
On a night like this

Then suddenly
Across the sky
A shooting star
Caught both our eyes
As we locked lips
Like lovers do
When our wish
Has just come true
On a night like this

Capture That Moment

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Capture that moment you’ll never forget
And save it for later when least to expect

It’s filled with a message that’s brilliant and smart
And given to those with exceptional heart

Use it for strength if you need that the most
Or feel free to give it to somebody else

It unlocks the doors to things you will see
Divine in their nature and given for free

So much is gained from those who we loved
And given by those who are up above

Remember that moment you’ll never forget
And save it for later when least to expect

The love in the message is meant to be found
Throughout your whole life and times you are down

It gives you a strength and fills up your soul
And helps you accomplish all of your goals

Carry that key so close to your heart
And never you’ll be a lifetime apart

So much is gained from those who we loved
And given by those who are up above

Coming About

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I tacked my sailing ship
Out upon the seas
The day that the ocean
Brought me to my knees

I stared up at the skies
High and up of above
And thanked God for the gift
To see and feel his love

I finally had the courage
To see beyond the waves
And cross this deep blue ocean
By giving him his praise

Life may be a journey
That I take on as my own
But never will I sail
Through the waves alone

God will make his presence
When I begin to wander
Like a lighthouse on a cliff
Shining light upon the water

I’ll now go sail my ship
Across this deep blue ocean
With a courage, strength, and love
And a great devotion

Intertwined

 

My mind, body, and soul
Are all mine
All of which
Are intertwined

I gave them away
So people could say
What I gave up
Was not thrown away

I held on to
What I thought to be true
And struggled within
The world that I knew

I feared of the things
That I couldn’t see
And relied on myself
To let me be free

I longed for a love
I was capable of
And a life intertwined
That I could call mine

(Inspired by the thoughts of a kind friend)

What’s Good

It’s the cheers from the crowd
That make it a game
Or a play that stands out
That gives you a name

It’s the lessons learned
From those that care
That make you strong
And want to share

It’s the smiles and laughter
From a friend
That will keep you happy
Till the end

It’s the feeling you get
From a hug and a kiss
That down the road
You know you’ll miss

It’s the sound and lyrics
From a song
That stay with you
When days are long

And as I go through each new day
All that’s bad I throw away

And as I go on living like I do
I’ll save what’s good to give to you